Latest, greatest special effects? Check.
Main lovable star in a sad rut ready to turn his luck around? Check.
Adorable kids in serious need of smacking at various points of the movie? Check.
Cynical guy calling the shots who we’re supposed to believe is evil but who seems to me to be the only sensible person in the film? Check.
[I’m with you, Oliver Platt; that probably means I’m going to hell, but I’m with you!]
Instance after instance of excruciatingly drawn-out suspenseful moments? *sigh* Check.
Actually, I could simply say this:
2012 – There are moments for thought-provoking words of feeling and long looks of love … but not when a freakin' tsunami is going to crush you in seconds unless you do that one thing you need to do!!!!!
Who DOES that???!!!!
Apparently, John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Chiwetel Ejiofor (Yeeeah, I have no idea on that one either), "President" Danny Glover, and George Segal, to name just a few.
Side note: To the two women who needed to change seats after the movie began in order to sit in the row directly behind me, for the love of GOD, WHAT WERE YOU EATING????
*crumple* *slurp* *crunch* *rustle* *cough*
*cough* *giggle* *cough* *cough*
You, dear ladies, deadened completely the beginnings of sympathy I had for the doomed people in the movie. Thank you.