Saturday, November 14, 2009

What Began As a Tweet-Sized Review of 2012

On a last minute whim (and a last minute cancellation of the party I was supposed to attend today), I went to see 2012 this afternoon. 2012 – the big disaster movie with John “Better Off Dead” Cusack sans sister Joan but with a wigged out Woody [Harrelson].

Latest, greatest special effects? Check.

Main lovable star in a sad rut ready to turn his luck around? Check.

Adorable kids in serious need of smacking at various points of the movie? Check.

Cynical guy calling the shots who we’re supposed to believe is evil but who seems to me to be the only sensible person in the film? Check.

[I’m with you, Oliver Platt; that probably means I’m going to hell, but I’m with you!]

Instance after instance of excruciatingly drawn-out suspenseful moments? *sigh* Check.

Actually, I could simply say this:

2012 – There are moments for thought-provoking words of feeling and long looks of love … but not when a freakin' tsunami is going to crush you in seconds unless you do that one thing you need to do!!!!!

Who DOES that???!!!!

Apparently, John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Chiwetel Ejiofor (Yeeeah, I have no idea on that one either), "President" Danny Glover, and George Segal, to name just a few.


Side note: To the two women who needed to change seats after the movie began in order to sit in the row directly behind me, for the love of GOD, WHAT WERE YOU EATING???? 
*crumple* *slurp* *crunch* *rustle* *cough*
*cough* *cough*
*cough* *giggle* *cough* *cough*
You, dear ladies, deadened completely the beginnings of sympathy I had for the doomed people in the movie.  Thank you.


  1. Thank you for saving me money...LOL. Not going to see it after this review!!!

  2. Oh, I didn't say it was horrible. Who doesn't love John Cusack? It was just very formulaic. I could almost hear my older sister saying, "Of COURSE he did" "Of COURSE it is" "Of COURSE they are" ... ala Murphy's law.

  3. Just saw it the night before yesterday, honey. Thought about you the whole time!

    Not only did the 'lovey-dovie' scenes were out of place like you said, but to force us to digest that "a two-three lesson pilot doctor" turns into an "airplane acrobat" right in the middle of the end of the world left me speechless!

    The rest was even better: not only did Amanda P. and the Dr. managed not to fall into a huge gap (at the supermarket) while the earth kept o shaking furiously, but John C. drove that car like batman!!! The earth opened and buildings fell, but his car was quick enough to fly through it all. He moved faster than nature! How convenient and magical!!! LOL...

    This ones falls into the infamous "House of Wax" category!!! JMHO.