Sunday, April 25, 2010

One Helluva Back-up Plan

[Spoiler Alert - you know - in case you'd be STUNNED to know it works out perfectly.]

Now, I’m used to watching romantic comedies that require the suspension of belief – our modern day fairytales. I get it. You fed us Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty when we were little and, now, as our eyes continue to narrow and the idea of Prince Charming induces an eye-roll as surely as Pavlov’s dog slobbered at the sound of a bell, you think you can simply throw yet another hottie our way and we’ll be mollified.

A hottie named Alex O’Loughlin aka Stan [aka Mick St. John – the hot vampire you tempted us with only to cancel the series Moonlight without warning.]

And representing us in this latest farce? Zoe, owner of a pet store and adorable pooch, played by the hot, happily-married, mother of twins, Jennifer Lopez donning her post-pregnancy body that rivals any 25 year old.


And, of course, Charming Stan is immediately intrigued with the princess, hunts her down after they meet, pursues her, puts up with … hell … a pregnant-by-someone-else female, who simply could not wait any longer for “the one” so she used some of the money she socked away from her time at an Internet company to buy some sperm … earlier on the day she first met Charming Stan.


And, hey, score, she gets pregnant with twins on the first try.

<narrowed eyes>

Princess Zoe continually pushes Stan away, having grown to distrust men after her father left when she was little; she’s built walls, this princess. But our Charming Alex, he doesn’t drop her for the ever-present beautiful blond ex-girlfriend who is so obviously still enamored with him. Oh no. He does everything he can think of to convince his love that he is trustworthy; he is long-haul material.

<throws up hands>


Sorry, Jenny. I can only suspend my belief far enough to believe in trainable dragons.


Oh, BTW, hey you.  Yeah ... you ... Evanston.  I see you.  Every time you visit, every pageload, every click.  I see you and your IP address. 
Just thought you should know.


  1. If you'd like some reality, a CGI shark is about to eat Samuel M-----F----- Jackson in Deep Blue Sea right now...Of course Alex doesn't drop her, she's the movie, he names a cheese after had to go into it expecting a fairy tale, right? Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina - c'mon, that's funny!

  2. Oh, the single mother's home birthing scene was funny as well. However, there's just so much bullshit I can swallow at one time. :)

  3. I'm about six months behind on romantic comedies (have to wait for the DVD or On Demand release). Just saw The Proposal and I have to admit, I kinda liked it. Not a cinematic masterpiece. But cute. Plus, I think I was giving Sandra a break because of the whole Jackass Jesse James thing.

  4. Ok, I swear I thought you meant me Jenny. Not her Jenny. But I got it in the end. Go me.