Thursday, August 28, 2008

Labor Day Weekend - Emphasis on Labor

My Labor Day Holiday will consist of exactly that ... labor.

This weekend I will be helping my little sister move from an apartment in Evanston, which she shared with her now ex boyfriend, to a solo apartment in Chicago.

I envision a day of bending, lifting, sweating, swearing, and the inevitable need to lower a piece of heavy furniture half-way up the stairway because giggle fits have completely depleted our strength. And, have you ever noticed how moving always takes at least 46% more time than you originally planned, part of which is spent puzzling over the exact angle of lifting needed to fit a couch or chair around a corner?

Added to this day of merriment is the location: Chicago. I dislike Chicago for several reasons, one of which is admittedly petty.
  1. There are too many people ... 9.7 million in the Chicago metro area ... and by reading this blog you must know that I generally hate people.

  2. Driving to Chicago takes too damn long ... why?

  3. Because there are too many people

  4. Driving in Chicago sucks big hairy donkey balls ... why?

  5. Because there are too many people

  6. And, finally, Chicago is the city of my exhusband ... thank God there are too many people.

So, as you are sitting around the lake/pool/grill/backyard enjoying this holiday weekend with a burger and ice cold drink, take a moment and add to that enjoyment by picturing me sitting in a car for several hours with my mother fielding the standard questions of whether I'm dating anyone and/or attending church regularly, then fighting to curb my swearing in front of said parent while driving around Chicago, followed by the bending, lifting, and sweating.

Rinse, reverse, and repeat for the return journey.

Yep, I love my little sis ... and that Venti Mocha Light Frappucino she'll have waiting for me.



1 comment:

  1. Things to be happy about:

    1. I don't own a couch (and only 1 small chair) so the lifting angles needn't be too precise.

    2. You can skirt the worst of the traffic with a pretty drive along the lake - with Mom sleeping.

    3. There is ZERO chance of seeing your ex because you will be with me - and we know he won't come within 40 feet of me.

    4. If history has taught us anything, I'm sure my tongue will slip with a heartfelt 'shit' (if I'm lucky) before you have half a chance to check yourself and Mom will be tsk-ing me the rest of the day.

    5. Once you get here, neither of you will be doing any Chicago driving - my road rage won't allow it.

    6. I bought wine glasses today. Glasses for red wine. Flowing red wine.


    And don't worry. I live within sight of a Starbucks. Because I live in Chicago: the city of your little sister, NOT your ex (or mine).

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