Thursday, April 7, 2016

Cancer Journey, My Ass

Forgive me, reader, my mind is all over the place this morning.

Last Friday was my 3rd AC chemotherapy infusion.  [The AC refers to the two drugs I receive, commonly shorthanded as AC, but I think of them as the red mutherf##### and the one after.]  Everything went smoothly. My stepmom was up again overnight and then one of my sisters came up Friday.  I mentioned before that Saturday is my eye of the chemo storm?  I felt good enough Saturday to head into Planet Fitness for the first time in months and get my treadmill/water massage table game on. 

And it felt good.  Sunday ... not so much.  Monday, meh.  Tuesday, come one!

Wednesday, yesterday ... I hit my limit.

I was supposed to be feeling BETTER by then.  But I didn't.  My breakfast sandwich didn't sit well.  My Chinese buffet lunch (yeah, yeah, I know) certainly didn't sit well.  And then a pressure point massage at my chiropractor nearly had me unconscious.  As in passed out.

As in "FINE ... UNCLE!  I give, I give!"
I had a bad day. *shrug*
It happens.

But do you know what else happened in those 24 hours?

I wore my Princess Leia wig (gift from Jenna) with my Hogwarts fleece to have dinner Tuesday night with a dear friend, Tisha, who ....

.... gave me this AWESOME CAP!!! Honestly ... I have a Yoda cap made by Sara Makes Hats (seriously, check her out, she's fabulous).  Pretty sure life is complete.  But wait, there's more ...

Culver's commented on my Facebook link to Robin's post:

Culver's is good people. 

          And then ...

I got to work on that ill-feeling Wednesday to find an HD DVD of one of my lovely friend Robin's last big trials so that I can watch her in her element anytime I want - all courtesy of my friend/coworker Dan (imagine, if you will, Grumpy Cat in human prosecuting form with a hidden post-Christmas Grinch heart - that's Dan).  Meanwhile, a sympathy card from my best college friend Amy waited for me in the mail. I've got such good people!

When I called it a day ... when I gave in and told my boss I needed to head home, I rounded the corner to pick up my coat and found a package sitting on my office chair.  I was nearly at my emotional limit already and found this inside:

Well, shit.  I give, people! I closed my office door and had a good cry.  I try to be tough (as my Daddy would urge), I try to lock this shit down, but couple me with some nausea, innards rumbling, bald bloatedness, and fatigue, shake me around with all sorts of kindness and support and I'm ...

Well ... I'm a mess.  Oh, I'm a badass as well.  But at that moment, I was simply a mess. 

I took the time to stop in and leak all over the sender (Laura) then headed home.

Home.  Where I found another package waiting for me ...

... containing the fruitiest brightest leggings I've every seen!  And extra points for the guffaw that "tall" gave me.  Emily is one of my little sister's friends.  Different than my little sister's friends who sent me the beautiful flowers post surgery.  [Lil sis has excellent taste in friends.]

Well, you can imagine the water works started all over again.  I was a delicate flower last night.

I delicate fruity flower.

I really can't thank you all enough.  You're making this shit bearable.  I'll never forget your kindness.

And you realize what this means, don't you? 

Not only does it mean I have the best support system in the freakin' WORLD, but it means when my Mom gets back from Florida and heads up here to take me to chemo #4, I get to watch her HORROR as I don fruity leggings with a Hogwarts fleece and my Princess Leia wig to be switched out with my Yoda cap for the trip.  Let's not forget my Star Wars chemo quilt that has accompanied me to every infusion. 

Why, yes, I'm an adult. 

As I said this morning ... Cancer journey, my ass.  This is my life journey.  Cancer can fuck off, and drop and roll like the hobo it is from MY train.  Oh, is that a ravine?  Plummet and poof like Wile E. Coyote, mutherf#####!

Yep. Totally an adult.

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