On the Border of Hoarder

Most of us have, at one time or another, looked around and recognized that it was time for a good long purging of things, a cleaning out of the home; this traditionally coincides with spring, i.e., spring cleaning.  We've hibernated all winter long, snug in our warm homes, and when spring finally (always later than hoped for) shows up, we're ready to open up windows, air out the house, and begin tossing out the old and bringing in the new just as Mother Nature is doing the same.

Yeah, so it's October.  I'm a little behind.

I looked around this week and began to calculate how long certain items had been occupying the same space in my home; hence the name of this post.  According to the Mayo Clinic, a true hoarder would have the following symptoms:

• Cluttered living spaces [Well, now, who doesn't from time to time.]
• Inability to discard items [No problem there ... eventually.]
• Keeping stacks of newspapers, magazines or junk mail [Wow, it's really time to take that stack of newspapers to the zoo for poo patrol.]
• Moving items from one pile to another, without discarding anything [Isn't this called sorting?]
• Acquiring unneeded or seemingly useless items, including trash or napkins from a restaurant [Now, come on, why would I toss a perfectly good napkin?]
• Difficulty managing daily activities, including procrastination and trouble making decisions [Oh, shit.]
• Difficulty organizing items [Again, I do this ... eventually.]
• Shame or embarrassment [Of course, no one is allowed here until this mess is cleaned up.]
• Excessive attachment to possessions, including discomfort letting others touch or borrow possessions [Hey, I only had a minimal reaction to seeing my old stuffed animals in a garage sale. Yay!]
• Limited or no social interactions [Oh, shit.]

Now, before I offend anyone (or probably after), I do not consider myself an actual hoarder and, however popular, the show "Hoarders" disturbs me. If someone you know truly fits within the symptoms above, they need help before they endanger themselves or others. 

I'm more in line with the general population who procrastinate unpleasant tasks.

Yep, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

My present mess stems in part from the switching of vehicles (explained here) and the accompanying, frantic emptying of old Red.  I'd like to say that I took the time to carefully sort through the items that have lived in my car for some time now but ... well ...

... it just seemed easier at the time to grab some bags and dump everything into them.  So that was September 28th - about a week and a half ago. 

Of course, this picture was taken about 30 minutes ago.  Oops.

I've also been working a lot, gone a bit, and just generally busy.  The other picture taken 30 minutes ago was of my bed, shared only because it has never ever ... ever ... been in such a state:

*cringe*

I know, I know.  I'll start there. 

Ooh, but there is that movie I want to see at Celebration Cinema. 

Oh ...  it doesn't start for another two hours. 

*sigh* 

Time to fire up the washer/dryer.  And shredder.

You know ... now that I've procrastinated even longer by writing this post.

Nipping the hoarderesque tendencies in the mess. 

Yep.  That's what I'm doing today.

Right ...

NOW.

The Procrastination Files

[Previously on Have I told You Lately ... Scary movie like return to blogging following short-term turned long-term, self-inflicted life sans cable involving renewed unrequited love of Joss Whedon.]

I pulled the plug on cable services in December 2010 with the expectation that by February 2011 or so [read - tax refund] I would replace my old computer and reconnect.  Instead, by February 2011, I had filed my brief in my first ever Michigan Supreme Court case, was playing catch up on regular cases and nervously preparing for oral argument with the Court.  Time flew. 

----- Side Note -----

My oral argument was on April 5, 2011, a date I will forever remember as the low point (God willing) of my professional career.  It was a murder case that we didn't expect to even reach the Supreme Court (I keep telling myself that). 

Oral argument began.  I introduced myself and did a short opening then waived much of my "free fire" opening statement time explaining that I wanted to address any questions the Court might ask.

They had none.

Okay. So, none?  No questions at all?  No questions about the second issue either?

Nope.

Okay.

That was even more unexpected than the Court accepting the application in the first place.

I had expected to make most of my argument while answering the Court's questions.  Without any, I had several points I needed to make before sitting down. Within about 2-3 sentences, a justice interrupted me ...

And the questions began.

So, wow, if I had any doubt before, the questions quickly evidenced the Court's dislike for our argument.  Golly, this is fun.

By the time I sat down, I felt a bit black and blue with shades of pretty green. 

My opponent got up and did a short introduction then asked for questions. They had none.

[HA! Feel my pain, comrade.]

He argued his points.  They still had none. [Hey!!] 

None until I got back up for rebuttal.  [Double Hey!!]

Honestly, your Honors, you might be drawing blood soon. 

The best part - as I headed into my final point - was a justice wondering aloud whether I was over time yet.

Yep.

So, that was fun.  I left Lansing that day and promptly hit the road for a six hour trip to see my newborn nephew and gain some much needed perspective.  Defendant?  Oh, he ended up pleading guilty to the same charge (for less time). 

----- End Side Note -----

Once the summer started, I was volunteering at the zoo, enjoying the sun, and still catching up on other cases.  I thought about blogging but figured I would wait until I had the new computer.  I thought about another Match.com run but figured I would wait until I had the new computer.  I thought about finding a book or movie club to join but figured I would wait until I had the new computer.  Time continued to fly and when I needed to decompress, I turned to my DVD collection.

Meanwhile, my Droid Eris was taking a cyber dump requiring a factory reset, my DVD player was beginning to play dead with its mouth (disk door) open, and my blessed wee red car was nearing 200,000 miles.  It was officially a massive tech turnover time.

But but but .... what phone to get?  A Droid 4G giant? Ooh, an iPhone?? 

What about the DVD player?  Should I get a smart player with streaming Netflix?

And the computer!!  Do I go with a Mac?  A Sony laptop? A netbook? But I might want to do work (Bahahaha) at times so I should get a laptop, right? Wait. Netbooks can do that, too?  Decisions, decisions.

[Ooh, look, my firefly DVD collection beckons].

So, Chevy Equinox? But a small car would get better gas mileage. But Dad says the SUV is safer.  But I can afford a newer small car. But ... but ... 

[I could stand to watch Season 7 of Buffy again.]

Time continued to fly.  Helped nicely along by the wit of Whedon.

And then the procrastination dam broke: within a 48 hour period at the end of August, I spent hundreds of dollars and made several decisions.  I went a different route with my phone and got the HTC Trophy - a Windows 7 phone.  I. Love. It.  Love love and the upcoming Mango update will blow our minds.

I decided on a light netbook but with 3 GB of running memory, a 320 GB hard drive, and an HDMI output.  I love every bit of its 11.6

inches. 

I ordered basic cable and performance internet.  The wireless is set and away I go.

Phone. Check.

Computer. Check!

Cable. Check!!

Book club. Check!!!

[Look at me go!]

DVD player. Eh ... it still basically works.

Car. Hey, my wee red beauty is still going fine. And, really, who needs cruise control or power windows?

Match.com.  Well, now, come on, you can't possibly expect me to date until those other things are settled, right?

Right?

I wonder what's on TV.

Wait, the new season starts next week?  Brilliant.