Saturday, November 1, 2008

Halloween Aftermath ...

You know what's fun? Having blazing red hair for a ghoulish Halloween night of candy and multiple spidermen and princesses. How does one get such blinding hair, you ask? Why step right up and gander at the Fright Night Temporary Hair Color in Rotten Red. As noted on the can, "Instantly change your hair color to go with any costume design. Streaks 'N Tips sprays a fine mist of color accents or sparkling glitter. It's the perfect touch for parties, holidays, special occasions, or just for fun!"

You know what's not fun? Trying to figure out how to rid yourself and your surroundings of said "fine mist of color." The directions state, "REMOVAL: Brush hair thoroughly and shampoo and condition as usual. Those with prelightened hair may need to wash hair several times for complete removal."

Somewhere in the land of Fright Night Cosmetics, the cackle of an evil scientist can be heard. You see, there are several things not noted on the can.
  1. "Light mist" = everything within a five foot radius of where you're standing when you administer the spray will be hit, you just won't know it yet.
  2. "Wipe off excess with a damp cloth" = you'll push said mist around on your counter top and bathroom floor (which you stupidly forgot to cover with an old bath towel) trying in vain to wipe any of it actually off these spaces. The thought of turning your bathroom into a Pepto-bismol ad flashes through your mind.
  3. After throwing an old towel onto the now pink floor and removing your now pink socks, you move on to your makeup and file away these troubles until later.
  4. You sport brilliant red hair, give out all the candy except the Heath bars you've discovered you now love as an adult, and generally have a wonderful night with friends.
  5. Later arrives. You pull a brush timidly through your rock hard hair once or twice then scoff at the "brush hair thoroughly" command and stumble into the shower.
  6. "Wash hair several times" = five ... so far.
  7. You step gingerly from the shower and steadfastly refuse to acknowledge your new slightly pink tinge or the light pink streaks across your cream colored bath towel. And, no, not the towel used to dry your hair.
  8. You cover the now pink shower/tub floor with Comet since, come on, if Comet can't cut this color, nothing will.
  9. Nothing will.
I'm going to need a much bigger bath rug.

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