Monday, February 15, 2010

Ah, You're Sneaky eHarmony ... Very Sneaky.

Tonight ends the "free communication" weekend at eHarmony that enticed me to fill out their incredibly long and maddening questionnaire and, thus, throw my singledom at the mercy of 29 "dimensions of compatibility."  I have hurried through the "guided communication" with one individual but we're not yet at the email stage.

And, more maddening even, I chose to skip straight to email (supposedly an option) with another match since time is running out and any guy who claims to like Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake series (I believe a rarity among men) deserves to at least have the means of finding my blog.  Of course the means of finding my blog could end in him running far far away, screaming, but ... eh ... the faint of heart need not tarry too long.  Therefore, I wrote an extremely witty (aren't I humble) email explaining a bit about myself and complimenting him on his reading choice then included information on how to find this site.  I clicked send, happy in my decision. I was promptly redirected to the subscription page and a short note informing me that "email" is for subscribers only.  

Um ... then don't include the link on my communication page and perhaps inform your newbies that "free communication" weekends mean your slower-than-papaw "guided communication" only.

<narrowed eyes

I see your game, eHarmony.  Lure me with the promise of free communication then purposefully make the process so painfully slow that, in order to actually have true communication with any of my "matches," I must become a paying subscriber.  Evil, evil temptress.

Thus, I find myself waffling at the prospect of forking over nearly $140 (yuh-huh, that's what I typed) for three months of services at eHarmony. is less expensive.  True, has not been successful for me recently (obviously), but spending twice as much in order to even see pictures of my matches gives me pause. 

I'm even getting contrary results from the tried and (well, not so much) true methods of divination: the horoscope and uber-eery magic 8 ball.  According to today's horoscope for we cancerous crabs:
If you are buying a lot of lottery tickets or engaging in some other kind of against-the-odds ventures, you need to spend your time and your money more wisely.  Maybe you have reassured yourself by dwelling on the idea that someone has to win, but that isn't necessarily so.  Although what you're going through now might not literally involve the purchase of lottery tickets, you could be taking some kind of risky venture way too seriously.  You are a dreamer, Moonchild, but you can also be quite objective and practical.  Now's the time to let your more stable side take control. [Emphasis added.]
In contrast, I asked the Magic 8 Ball whether I would find "that special person" during the 3 months at eHarmony if I paid for the subscription.  Answer:

Oh, the agony at times of having the ability to make my own freakin' decisions!

[Disclaimer: Yes, I realize just how asinine this dilemma is and that there are people in the world, the majority of the world's population in fact, who would relish making it rather than wondering how they will eat or where they will sleep.  I am only silly, not hard-hearted.]

So, as the minutes tick away, I sit, sipping wine, and pondering the frivolity of this expenditure.

I highly doubt any decision will be made this night.  Suggestions, wisdom, and wisecracks are welcome.


  1. So, are you buying the lottery tickets? kidding. I would think it would take some serious, money making, sincere men to fork over that same amount of money. I guess I see it as comparing wine to beer ;)

  2. Ha! Nice post. I signed up on a whim when I saw a friend's post about trying it for "free" this weekend. Looks like there could be some value, and I'm curious to find out more about some of my matches, but still have a hard time convincing myself to drop over $100 on an experimental basis. Maybe that says something about my level of commitment!

  3. As someone who has twice gone to the well with, and who has found more dregs than potable water, I can offer a confused shrug of the shoulders. I almost succumbed to the allure of eHarmony's "free" offer but I failed to make it through the laborious questionnaire before yelling at the screen and closing the tab in my browser. I don't regret the two three-month stints on Match as they made me feel that I was actively engaged in the process of attempting to date, and I've also narrowed the pool of potentially available women by a few dozen. But I still walk away muttering "meh."

    At this point it's not worth my money to see if eHarmony can offer rejuvenation to my non-existent dating life, but that's simply the view from way over here in the Single Adult Dating Field. I jumped as high as I could and I can't see where you are, so I have no idea what it looks like from where you stand.

  4. Do it! Do it! Do it!. That is like a little over $45 a month! 5 trips to the movie theater! My point is, you can spend that kind of money anyway, it is not an outrageous amount! It will continue to nag at you if you don't. Think of it as the price you have to pay to never wonder "what if."

    Do it! Do it!!!

  5. Kim, when I read that you were considering trying eharmony I was going to give you my opinion and my experience, but I kept my mouth shut because I have also heard many success stories. I hate being the downer. But now I will tell you my experience. It is similar to yours in that I feel like they were very sneaky. About 5 yrs or so ago after trying Yahoo personals and, my friend, who worked with a woman who had met her husband on eharmony , offered to pay for my first month. I agreed, since it was free, and went about my evening filling out the form. In the first 3 weeks, they matched me with maybe 6 men (none of which were at the least bit desirable), but at the end of the last week of my subscription, they sent me about 10 matches, (this time with several inviting profiles). Of course, it would take more than my alloted time to actually communicate freely with these men, leaving me with no choice but to pay for another month. Yeah, they offered me a special rate, so I paid for 3 more months. Long story short...I met a few men, some very nice, but no sparks, 2 complete liars and one who emailed me after our first date to tell me what nice hooters I had! I will just say, as someone who has been there, done that...eharmony is no better than any other dating website, just more expensive. Good luck in your search. I, myself, have given up my pursuit. I have decided to let God do what he said he would and provide me with what I need. To be honest with you, I am happier than I have been in a long time and content in knowing that I may be alone for another 12 years, but I won't waste any more of my hard earned money or time on a bunch of losers!